As promised, I wanted to continue the topic of invitation etiquette and how to do the “right thing” when it comes to your wedding, but also not being afraid to break some rules either. Here are some basic questions when it comes to wedding invitation etiquette as well as the proper etiquette answer as well as the rule breaker answer.
Q: When should I send out our invitations?
Proper Etiquette (PE): The basic guideline to follow on when to send out your wedding invitations is 2 months before your wedding. That gives your guests plenty of time to clear their calendar and make sure to not to miss your big day.
Rule Breaker (RB): Since Save the Dates are very popular now, you are giving your guests more than the two month time period to know your wedding date. I would still go by the 2 month rule, but if you are cutting it close, no worries if you sent out the Save the Date.
Another Rule Breaker is if you have a destination wedding. In that case, you may want to send out your invitations more than 2 months prior to your wedding to allow your guests to book their travel plans. A Save the Date or just a nice email (if your wedding will be small) would also be recommended as soon as you know your destination wedding date and location.
Q: Where do we include information about our wedding website?
Proper Etiquette (PE): Your wedding website should be included on your Save the Date. If you would like, you can include an additional card with your invitations to inform guests on where to find more details.
Rule Breaker (RB): Always include your wedding website on Save the Dates. Your family and friends are excited to know about your wedding day, how you met, etc. There are two places you can put your website when it comes to the actual invitation. One is a “guest information” card which is included with your invitation. The card can include other things such as accommodations, registry (see the next question), maps, etc. If you do not have enough information for an entire guest information card but want your website somewhere with your invitation, you can put it on the actual invitation itself. I would recommend putting it smaller and away from the main text of the invite.
Q: Do we include our gift registry with our wedding invitations?
Proper Etiquette (PE): Proper etiquette says no. Including your registry comes off as impolite because it can come off as though you’re asking for gifts. Word-of-mouth is the proper way to tell people where you’re registered.
Rule Breaker (RB): This is my number one rule breaker and goes back to my theory: it’s your wedding, do what you want. Yes, including your registry can come off as looking like you’re asking for a gift. But most of your guests are going to get you a gift, correct? So instead of having them guess at what you want (“I’m sure they’d love another nice crystal bowl!”), guide them in the right direction by including your registry. It’s 2013. Many couples are already living together and have the basics of their merged lives together. I’m sure a lot of young couples would love a coffee pot, but if you were like my husband and I when we got married, we already had two.
I suggest if you have a registry, don’t be afraid to include it on your guest information cards. Or if you don’t want to do that, include your wedding website and have your registry information on there.
More questions to come in my next blog!